Week 20—It’s Been A While

The last time I posted was Week 16, which was sometime back in the first part of January. Sorry for the hiatus, but since my last post I’ve been in the hospital, and then I lost my mother near the end of January. Since I lived with mom, I’ve been living in chaos ever since as my brother, sister, their spouses, and I have begun going through everything of mom’s—and there’s a lot of stuff and years of memories. It’s a slow process no matter how quickly we work. Sometimes it’s physically hard, but mostly it’s mentally draining, after which, I’m simply out of gas.

Oh, and then there’s everything else that’s been put on hold that has to be taken care of, too.

I’ve kept up with the webinars as best as possible by catching them on replays, and I’ve been reading as much as I could, but honestly, there have been days, sometimes day after day, when I just haven’t been able to do so. Blogging was virtually out of the question. Zero energy, mental energy that is. Spending two plus hours on a webinar was more than I could think about.

When I read Week 20, I thought, YES. This is it! This explains it. Think. That’s all we have to do. But think correctly. Ah, that’s the secret (I was going to say trick, but there’s really no trick involved). We’ve been learning how to think correctly ever since day one, and now it’s been presented in such a succinct and clear manner that anyone who’s come this far simply has to get it, yes?

Everything is part of the whole. We all are created to think, and without thinking, there’s nothing at all. The power of thought if understood and used correctly is the greatest labor saving device ever dreamed of. What a revelation! Of course, thinking used incorrectly can lead to disaster—and what do we see in the world today? Total and utter disaster. If only they knew what we know, how wonderfully better the world would be.

Week 16—Seeing The Vision

The visualization that we’ve been doing for the last few weeks is beginning to sink in. I simply couldn’t get a good handle on last week’s Insight assignment, but this week, I can see not just the end, but the means to that end. Everyone has a grand ending—what they want. Probably more often than not, the “final picture” is a nicer home, a better area, mostly more stuff, all of which is good. But just how does one get there? Ah, that’s the $64,000 question. If you can’t see that, then the end is simply a hopeful wish.

This week, for really the first time, I can truly begin to see the larger picture of the “how”—how I accomplish my desire. The steps necessary. As we’ve read numerous times, knowledge does not apply itself. That’s finally sinking in. Whew!

It won’t happen tomorrow, but I can see now that I am making progress—slower than I want, but progress nonetheless.

Week 14—Rudy

Rudy wasn’t my first choice of movies to watch this week. My first choice was Door to Door, but it wasn’t available on Netflix, and there wasn’t time to purchase it from Amazon. Next was October Sky, and when I first looked (didn’t have time to watch it then, and didn’t yet belong to Netflix—I didn’t know how it worked) I was pretty sure that I saw it. Next was Rudy, but I’m not much of a football fan. Finally, there was Cool Runnings, and Jamaica bobsledding held no interest for me at all, even though I knew that the purpose of watching any of these films was not the plot but the reason behind the plot.

When I finally went back to Netflix to get October Sky, it wasn’t there. Damn! So I watched Rudy. All I can say is—WOW! I was so inspired by that kid. I must have reached for the Kleenex a half-dozen times. So often he got knocked down, but was never, ever discouraged. Now THAT was a Hero’s Journey.

After watching the film (it was 12:30 am or later when it was over) I searched for the true story (adding another hour or so to watch various clips before turning in. Rudy was in the movie with a very brief cameo.) The movie was dramatic, and it was unclear what was actually true and what was added/changed for dramatic purposes. The real story, though, was pretty mind-boggling. This small kid from a working-class family and town with few good football skills but with heart and desire from here to the moon and back completely fulfilled  his dream/goal—to play football for Notre Dame.

What I found most astounding, however, is the tremendous support he earned from his teammates. This support didn’t come naturally or quickly. So much so that some of the team were willing to give up their spot so that Rudy could play (only a certain number of players could dress for a game), so the coach conceded to let him do so. But the truly unbelievable part came at the very end when crowd starting chanting his name, “Ru-dy, Ru-dy.” The coach had to let him play. Then (and this actually happened) Rudy, this small, scrawny kid, sacked the quarterback of the opposing team in the last play of the game (Notre Dame was way ahead, and Rudy’s entry into the game didn’t make a difference for the score). Then the team carried Rudy off the field. That was the ONLY time that Notre Dame ever carried a player off the field.

No, he didn’t go on to become a football star or even a player after that. That didn’t matter. He persisted and persisted and persisted. He was obsessed, and so long as you don’t hurt anyone in the process, obsession isn’t bad. It’s necessary!

Week 13—Half-way Point

I’ve been a little, actually a lot, remiss these past couple of weeks. Only a little of it had to do with the holidays. An important job that’s truly time-sensitive was thrust at me, and by the time I was done with a day’s work, I was exhausted and couldn’t even read Og, let alone Haanel at the end of the day, although I’d usually read them at least once during the day. I realized almost immediately that the old blue print (slacking off to the point of doing nothing) was rearing its ugly, terrible head, and so, as Scroll III tells us, I continued to persist, even if it wasn’t 100%. Just keep going, just keep going.

I ran across some interesting information, though, that I copied and held onto, because I knew I wanted to share it. I haven’t read it since I first saw it, and perhaps if I’d taken its advice, I may have fared better during these past two weeks. I honestly don’t remember how I came across this, but it seemed interesting and applicable to MKMMA:

Have you ever had a day where you just couldn’t seem to shake a foggy brain? You feel tired and sluggish and don’t know quite what to do?

I just finished reading “The IQ Answer” by Dr. Frank Lawlis where he states that “One of the most valuable behaviors a child or adult can do to clear a foggy brain is to chew.”

When you chew, Lawlis says, you breathe through your nose and get a natural infusion of nitric oxide that helps your brain and body process air more effectively.

It supercharges your neurological system and allows you to absorb more oxygen and cleaner air.  And in turn, you can think more clearly and better concentrate.

I’ve also read studies that suggest chewing gum can help you eliminate fear and anxiety.  When you’re in real danger, the rationale goes, you can’t eat.  So chewing gum is a trick.  It tricks your brain into thinking you’re eating.  It says: Look, we must not be in danger otherwise we wouldn’t be eating.

Try chewing gum before you need to speak in public or approach someone who makes you nervous.

I haven’t had a chance to try it, yet, but it would be interesting to know if anyone who reads this does and what your results are.

As for Weeks 12 & 13, I honestly can’t connect with the Omnipotent, to realize that I’m part of the Whole. I understand it cerebrally, but it hasn’t yet transmuted into my “I.” I’m working on it.

Week 10—I’m Actually Changing

So I’m in the market the other day to get a few things. My market’s closed down the self-serve machines, so I’ve got to get on line. An older gentleman’s ahead of me finishing up his order. I’m not really paying attention, but it seems that he had to swipe his card again because of something that had previously occurred—either an item was missed, or taken out. I don’t know. But because he had to swipe his card again, he became annoyed (he may already have been annoyed).

So when the transaction was finished, the clerk said, “Have a nice day,” as they so often do, and not really meaning it. It’s just something that he says. The older guy grumbled something back at him, which I didn’t hear. And I really didn’t care what he said.

Then the clerk says to me, “That’s one nasty old man. Did you hear what he said? He didn’t have to say that.”

Now before MKMMA, I would have said, “Why, what did he say?”

But NOW, what I said was, “You know, you haven’t walked in his shoes. You don’t know how he got to where he is now, either today or this minute.”

I couldn’t believe it. Saying that NEVER would have occurred to me before MKMMA.

I AM changing.

Thank goodness.

Week 9—THE Master Key

Wow, what a week. We’ve learned THE master key, “Aladdin’s Lamp, as it were.” The one indefatigable, totally reliable, all encompassing affirmation: I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, harmonious, loving, wealthy, and happy.” Yes, I added “wealthy” to my affirmation. As they say, money’s not everything, but it IS right up there with oxygen. Can’t live without it. Period. And for me, wealth is vital.

Here, finally, at week 9 I’ve done my movie poster.



It seems I’m still living under the “keep going until it’s done” modus operandi instead of the “do it now” MO.

My sit this week has been very strange. I concentrate on the seed, and planting it, and music is continuously going through my head. Can’t stop it. But then, I’m off thinking about other things. Screech! Back to the flower. See it break through and sprout. Whoa! Where’d THAT image come from—nothing to do with the flower.

Some days I’d actually make it through to the full image of the flower in bloom. Some days, not.

Keep on rollin’. That’s all we can do, right?

Week 8—Creating the Vision (or Good Thinking)

What a startling new idea—think constructively, good happens; think destructively, bad happens. One law: thought creates results. Period! Talk about reaping what you sow. WOW! I’d never heard it put so succinctly.

I must have had to restart my mental diet a half-dozen times a day. Sheesh!


the time in-between starts keeps getting longer and longer. I actually went a day plus earlier this week. Yes, it’s frustrating when dealing with unthinking, incompetent  people (judgement, much?), but those silly, inanimate objects that seem to have a mind of their own… They drive me crazy. All those areas of life where things are supposed to work in a certain way—after all, you’ve done this a thousand times—and then suddenly “it” decides not to cooperate this time. What happened!? What the… You’ve got to be kidding me!

Restart. Next. Onward once again.

Now, creating the image from before it’s real. THAT’S a challenge. How often I got mesmerized and lost trying to think back to beyond the origins of the battleship. Back to the mining of the ore, and then how about the dynamite used to get to the ore. Go back on the dynamite. Go back on the machinery. Go back, back, back. How do you ever get back to the original thought?

Ah, that original thought. Think of how many original thoughts that need to happen in order to really create something before it’s created. The number is staggering. Yes, it starts with just one, but that one isn’t complete. You need to add to it, what color, shape, size, position, material, use, etc, etc, etc. Here’s an image that struck me earlier this week.

03_Aerial view of Pier 55.jpg


How cool it that? A new pier in the Hudson River in New York City. $130 million, 2.7 acre park and performance space, 700 seat theatre. Construction to begin 2015; completed 2018-19. Now that took imagination. Real, solid, constructive imagination. It’s not even re-using space. It’s creating new space.

Man’s imagination is the most powerful tool in the Universe. Amen.

Week 7—The Invisible Power

I’ve been looking at other blogs to see if anything inspires me. I haven’t a clue what to write about this week. I can’t prolong a thought, even though I have very little problem doing the exercise for the sit. For the exercise, I’m fine. I’m supposed to concentrate. But in the real world, I’m constantly being distracted. And forgetful about what to do.

After I have a negative thought I remember about my Mental Diet. I’m not yet pro-active about it, i.e. preventing the negative thought from occurring in the first place.

“I will greet this day with love in my heart.” I actually say that to myself when I awake each morning, and except for when I read Scroll II, it’s nowhere in my mentality.

The invisible force? Maybe just by doing the exercises by rote its power will be revealed. Personally, I believe that the power is within you, me, each of us. And these exercises are to help us find it. Maybe seven weeks simply isn’t enough time. That’s understandable, at least to me. Some have tapped into it already. Lots, it seems. How did they do it? Beats me.

I do feel some small changes happening, though. Nothing specific, just a general feeling of, “I’d never have thought about [that particular situation] in just that way before.” I also realize that instead of acting smarmy to one or both of my siblings (as I am want to do), I’m holding back. So maybe, just maybe, things are getting better for me. All I do know is that for things to get better, I’ve got to get better, and MKMMA is the pathway to getting better.

Week Six—Trying To Keep It All Together

It’s the end of Week 6 (Week 7 begins tomorrow, yikes!), and I’m just now getting to this. It’s been a tough week. Yes, I do the exercises and the readings (so many!). I recite 25 times “do it now” and “I can be what I will to be” twice each day. I slog through the Emerson piece (talk about a difficult piece, whew!). And I keep up with my business, too. But I’m still way behind.

My poster board—went right out and bought it on Monday. It’s still sitting and completely blank. There’s so much think time involved in this, that I just get worn out. I’d always heard that mental work is harder than physical work, and I’d experienced the difference a few times in my life, but it’s been years and years since then. Now it’s even more difficult (oh, that I were 20 years younger).

But then I think of my grandchildren, for whom I want to leave a legacy, something that they’ll always remember their grandpa by,

486786_4683000720193_1486060530_n copy

and I get motivated again.

But for me, it’s still all mechanical. I haven’t gotten that “spark” of revelation yet, that moment when serendipity just seems to happen. Too much concrete still. Chip, chip, chip. Oh, there’s a crack and a little piece fell off, but just a little. Where’s the chisel. Chisel? Where’s the jack hammer!? Got to get rid of this—NOW!

I greet this day with love in my heart. That’s what I read. That’s what I want to do, to feel, to accomplish. That’s not what happens, though. I’ve dug a pretty deep hole, and although I believe I’ve stopped digging (finally), and MKMMA is definitely the rope by which I can pull myself up and out, it’s a looooonnnnnggggg way up. And sometimes my hands slip, or my feet don’t catch the wall just right. Ever try to climb a rope with just your arms? It’s hard, I mean really hard.

Every night that last hour gets a little later until it’s simply too late. I still have to get up the next morning. That never stops.

I   read    and    then    I     fall     asleep.



Week 5—Past Thinking

I’ve come to realize that my past thinking has been awful. I thought it wasn’t, but it was. I took responsibility, but I never realized that it was, in fact, my thinking, which came from my beliefs and led to my actions, that caused whatever situation I was in.

Losing my business back in 1991 was possibly the hardest situation I’d ever been in, maybe even harder than my divorce. I realized I made some poor decisions, and therefore accepted what happened. BUT, I never understood that I was virtually fated to lose my business (as well as have future financial problems) because of what I thought, how I thought, and what I believed.

Now, I have started the process to think my way out of my past and into my future. It will happen step-by-step, and I will be a different person by the time I’vc completed MKMMA.


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